Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Non-Runner Spouse

This week marks a very special date for me. My four year wedding anniversary is this Thursday, the 19th! I cannot even believe it has already been four years! Time truly does fly by!




It is times like this that really make me appreciate how awesome my husband is. I was not a marathoner when he met me. I would run a few miles a week while I worked at the fitness center in college. In the past two years, I have flipped our world upside down! I even got him to run a half marathon with me!




When people ask me if my husband is a runner, I always share this story. During the 2012 Pittsburgh Marathon 5K, I was so excited to see my husband cheering me on. When I make the turn to the finish line I spotted him! He waved and then took a bite out of his corn dog. It was before 8am, and he is watching a race! Yet there he is, chomping down on a corn dog.



He has become my biggest cheerleader and supporter. He knows my goals for races, what splits I need to hit and most of all he knows how to talk me out of a bad race. He knows the best gift he can buy me is a pair of shoes. He even knows all my sizes and brands that I love, without having to dig through my drawers!



I take him on road trips where he has to wait for hours just to get a glimpse of me for a few minutes. Then I usually sleep the rest of the day or eat us out of house and home. When we do go on race-cations together, I make sure that I let him pick an entire day, after the race, that we can do whatever he wants. When we go on non running trips, I listen to his wishes when he asks that I don’t bring my running shoes. It’s a compromise. It is the only way this crazy lifestyle works!




Let’s also mention going on trips without each other! Hubby had to go visit some friends out of state by himself because I had already used vacation days for races! I will be traveling alone for a few races for the same reason. It’s just what we have to do.



While I know this is not odd for other runner relationships, I wanted to reach out to some of my other I’m Fit Possible/Sweat Pink/Girls Gone Sporty sisters and some IRL friends to see how other relationships between runners and non runners work for other people.



Kristy (@pghrunner) has been married to her husband Dee for seven years. Her best advice for couples with a non-runner, “Don’t expect them to understand what you get out of running immediately. If you stay together long enough, they’ll learn that you start acting crazy/cranky, if you miss a run! They’ll WANT you to go!!”



Emily (@emkslone) and her husband of nine years, Stephen, have had their relationship strengthened by running. "Our relationship with running is stronger because I use running as 'me' time and I am more confident now than I have been previously!"


Kim (@thisrunnersfuel) and Rich have been married for 20 years! She has a similar relationship with her husband as I do. When I asked her if they have raced together before, I loved her answer! “We ran the Steelers 5K together a couple of years ago. He actually beat me the stinker! It was fun, but not something he wants to miss golf for on a regular basis. And, I have a network of friends that I see at races now so I don’t mind”.




Ashlee (Instagram: fit_by_ash) had a similar finish line story as my experience. Her husband of two year, David, was cheering her on at the end of a half marathon. “As I got closer I saw my husband, along with my friends and family cheering for me on the sidelines and  you guessed it…eating donuts and coffee.  They didn’t even save me any J  I forgave them later!



Annmarie (@fitfoodiemama) has an awesome husband of four years, Anthony. They have two kids and he is a crazy supportive running husband. “My partner usually does not attend races with me mostly because we have two small children that need taken care of.  He usually stays at home with the kids and spends the day with them while I attend the race.  I am sure as my children get older he will bring them to cheer me on!”




Erin (@punkstarbunny) has been with John for 16 years and he really knows how to gift a runner! “Oh on Mother's Day last year he made me a medal rack for all my race medals. TOTALLY unexpected. I has no place to hang my medals I was hanging them on the door frames or a coat hanger. That is probably the BEST running gift. Oh and the occasional race fees.”




You see, no relationship is normal. We all have different ways of dealing with spouses who have different passions than us. It doesn't make one better than the other.



So honey, happy four year wedding anniversary! Here’s to many more!



I want to thank all of these amazing women for helping me out with this blog post! Make sure you show them some love!


Do you have a non-runner spouse? How do you manage your relationship?

22 comments:

  1. Wow! Happy Anniversary! You guys sound like you have an excellent marriage. Lots of compromise and understanding. I'm also in a relationship with a non-runner and he doesn't quite understand it. Hahaha I JUST started running though, so I'm sure in the years to come he'll get it. I'm hoping I can even convince him to run WITH me!

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    1. Thank you! Hopefully you guys will be able to enjoy running together!

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  2. Happy anniversary!! Our relationship is similar. Adam and I have been together for almost 12 years and I obviously wasn't a runner when I was 13. He never gets upset when I have to go to the gym or get a run in. He motivates me. I think he likes the time alone because when I say I'm not going, he tells to go get it in because I have a race coming up. lol We have started to plan little racecations and I'm hoping to do an Ironman next May in Raleigh. He doesn't mind standing there waiting and he is training for his first bike race that I'll do with him in Hershey. 65 miles! One of our friends are very close to talking him into the 5k at the Lucytown Half too. We need to get our husbands together at races so they talk about non girly things like hockey. haha I hope you have a wonderful anniversary week, friend!

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    1. Thank you so much! We are going to have to double date sometime this summer!

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  3. Happy Anniversary! I have a non-runner husband. Sometimes he expresses interest in dabbling in it, but in general thinks distance running is nuts. lol He's more into cycling, and that's cool with me. He and the kids are great race support. He also checks in with me in regards to my nutrition and what I need, which is really sweet of him. He's an insulin dependent diabetic, so our needs differ a bit. I can't thank him enough!

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    1. Thank you!! At least you lead a healthy active lifestyle together! So much more fun to have someone to talk about it with!

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  4. Firstly happy Anniversary. and Secondly I have to share my story, you see I have been dating my man for over 3 years and I was the non runner until last year. He is a sporty guy - loves bike riding and marathon running and is forever signed up for something every weekend. When we first met I was quite happy to sit on the side lines and support him. I hit breaking point last year april when i discovered i weighed more than him. It wasnt alot and he is naturally a skinny guy but still, i was the fat girlfriend. so that is when i started my own journey, and when i started my blog getfithappyhealthy. I am now the one who sends links to upcoming racing events and organises our racing diaries. We sometimes run together, or run different distances (my goal this year is to run my first half marathon at the end of the year!) but i have to say it was something inside of me that changed. I dont think he ever pushed me to run, i did it on my own and when i decided to do it, he was 100% behind me. he is my cheerleader no matter what. loved this post, sorry, just had to share my story too :)

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    1. Thank you! I love your story!! How sweet is it that you two can be super supportive with each other! Sometimes men can be so sweet!

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  5. Happy Anniversary! You guys are so cute together! When I started training for my first runDisney race, (which the hubs was supposed to run with me but got sick at the last minute), it used to annoy him how much I was training. Now he knows how much it means to me to be able to push myself, and doesn't give me any grief when he knows I HAVE to run or go off the deep end. Like you, he gets to pick what we do the day after the race, and I think our ability to compromise is what makes this crazy adventure of being married nothing less than a great adventure. :)

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  6. My boyfriend is a non-runner and will go to my bigger races, like halfs. I don't mind that he doesn't go to 5Ks, they're not a big deal to me. As for training, I run before work or do my long run on saturday before he wakes up. I don't think he understands my running habit, but he respects it and is proud of me (even if I am slow!)

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  7. LOL this is my LIFE. My boyfriend doesn't mind tooo much..we work a few hours apart shift-wise so normally I go right after work before he even gets home. And on weekends I can get it all done before he even wakes up ;)

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  8. Steffany Smith RubelJune 17, 2014 at 7:33 PM

    That's the perfect runner relationship! He doesn't even have to know!

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  9. My wife is a non runner!! At first she couldn't understand the shoes, races, and why I would be upset. Now she pushes me to do better she yells at me if I am slacking and she even gets mad if I do poorly at a race. She tries to make it to all the races and now has an appreciation for runners even though she still says it ain't her thing

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  10. Happy anniversary! I can't believe you got your hubby to sign up (and run), a half marathon!! That's awesome! I'm warming Dee up to running a 10K, lol.

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  11. Steffany Smith RubelJune 17, 2014 at 9:37 PM

    Us women are quite supportive! It's very cool to see it from the other side!

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  12. Steffany Smith RubelJune 17, 2014 at 9:38 PM

    I wouldn't quite call it "running" a half marathon. We took a nice morning stroll through magic kingdom and Epcot =)

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  13. Steffany Smith RubelJune 19, 2014 at 8:24 PM

    Thanks so much for helping!!!

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  14. Happy (belated) anniversary, I hope you guys got to celebrate last night! Thanks for including me!

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  15. Steffany Smith RubelJune 20, 2014 at 6:39 PM

    Thank you for your help!!

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  16. Steffany Smith RubelJune 20, 2014 at 6:39 PM

    Thanks so much for the help!

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  17. Janessa McCommonJune 23, 2014 at 5:41 PM

    I have a non-runner spouse but I think my running has made him curious enough to do some 5ks with me. He has been there for me at the finish line and worked out schedules around so I could get to races. He is very supportive and I think a little proud of me too lol

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  18. I love this!! Adam is by no means a running spouse but will wake up at 5am to cheer me on. I got him to run a 5k in October and then he retiered lol happy anniversary!!

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