Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Letting It All Hang Out.

Confession time guys, I have always suffered with body imagine problems. Not in the normal way that most people do. You see, I know I'm a tiny person but I have never felt the need to flaunt it. I actually hate when people point out to me how small I am - and don't even think of picking me up!

One of my senior pictures

When I got to college I started to put on a little weight, but I still didn't have any confidence in myself. I was on television all the time and worked with incredible athletes. I didn't feel comfortable at all but I had no idea how to change it. I was so busy, it was very easy to get lost in everything.

Found this gem the other day.

When I got back in to running in 2012 my confidence starting building. The weight was starting to come off, but I still had no interest in showing it off. You could tell that I was changing, but I still had no urge to wear skimpy clothes, let alone a swim suit. 

Before the Disney Marathon in 2014.

Through the years I had aquired a few swim suits. None of which I have ever worn. Since I graduated high school 10 years ago I can probably count on one hand how many times I wore one. Most of which was on my honeymoon. When I started losing the weight, suddenly none of the random ones I had fit. In the past two years, I have worn a swim suit once and it was for less than an hour. I just do not feel comfortable. 


Last summer during marathon training I learned to embrace running in a sports bra. I really didn't have a choice. It was gross and I was really hot. I found sports bras that fit correctly and felt extremely comfortable in my own skin. For the first time in my life I could say this. 


This year I wanted to make another bit of progress. I bought swim suit and I was going to wear it. I was really inspired by my girl Tara who bought the same suit I did and she had no problem at all rocking it! 

I did it! I bought the Marty made by Oiselle!

When my mom said she wanted to go to Erie last weekend I knew it was time. Despite my awkward build, my runner tan lines and all the other mental fears - I was going to do it. I put on my suit and I hit the beach. 

There it is! All sorts of Steff!

Did I feel good, not really but I did it. Rome wasn't built in a day! The fact that I actually did it is huge for me. I even went in the water, even bigger deal! I am 28 years old and it has taken me this long in my life to start to feel comfortable with myself. 


It's a start. Hubby has already talked about wanting to go to the beach next year. I told him I would need another swim suit. 



Do you like wearing a swim suit? When did you say enough was enough? 

24 comments:

  1. I love you and this post so much! Thanks for being so authentic! And you look FAB 😁

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  2. Love this post :) and I hate wearing swim suits, but I found a few that I feel comfortable in. It's more like wearing a tank top and skirt but it works for me :)

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  3. Believe it or not, at age 50 I finally said enough is enough and put on a bikini. I wore one when I was a teen and in my 20s, but I always hated my stomach (even tho I was thin). Seriously. I wore tankinis through my 30s and 40s.

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  4. Kristine Wichner TorkelsonJuly 22, 2015 at 9:36 AM

    I feel incredibly uncomfortable in a swimsuit so I understand this completely! I have two bikinis that I thought I could wear since I've lost weight, but I've had them now for two summers and I've worn them in public one time each. I love the Oiselle suit and you look amazing in it! Way to have confidence and rock it!!

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  5. I suffer with body images as well. I'm not comfortable enough yet to run in just a sports bra, but I love that you have overcome that fear. I love the bathing suit and you look fantastic by the way!!

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  6. I have never found one I feel completely

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  7. Thanks for that! I am built too weird for a tankini. I thought they would solve all my issues, WRONG!

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  8. Thanks Kristine! I feel like the suit symbolizes so much for us, it's not just a piece of clothing.

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  9. Thank you Kimberly! I really broke the sports bra fear by running on the treadmill in only a sports bra. It helps!

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  10. You go girl! You look absolutely terrific in the suit. So cute!

    I'm the same as you and I feel very uncomfortable sometimes, especially in a two piece. I've always been insecure about my stomach. Even when I was a kid it was always more rounded, and my mom always called it my "funny tummy". No matter how many miles I run or crunches I do, I don't think I'll ever have a flat stomach. It sucks but it's what I have so I try to be comfortable with it and flaunt my stuff!

    I can definitely relate to this so thank you for sharing and putting yourself out there. Now I just have to get that suit too :)

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  11. THIS IS AWESOME! I'm so excited for you, Steff! This is definitely a big step; it was for me, anyway. As a "chubby" kid, I never wore swim suits out in public; I would go to friends' pool parties and wear shorts and a t-shirt over my swim suit (why did I even bother wearing one?). I lost some weight before high school, and kept it off, but never really felt comfortable in my "new" skin; I can totally relate. I'm so glad you are taking the opportunity to test out some new things and see how you feel! Thanks for the shout-out; I'm not taking any of the credit for this one, though. :)

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  12. You look amazing and athletic.
    However, I totally understand that feeling on insecurity.

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  13. Kristine Wichner TorkelsonJuly 22, 2015 at 8:08 PM

    I think it symbolizes confidence and being comfortable in our own skin. It's awesome that you're getting there! Today I ran in a sports bra AND posted a photo on Instagram, which is me coming a long way! With the suit, it doesn't help that my bikinis are from Victoria's Secret and are more "sexy" than I think I am; I'm much more athletic and those bikinis I have just aren't the person I turned out to be!

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  14. Thanks for sharing Gretchen! I have come to the conclusion I will never have a six pack because I like cookies and ice cream, but I need to start doing scary thing!

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  15. You should take some credit! Seeing you rock that suit was one of the reasons I NEEDED to have it!

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  16. Steff - you look amazing! Keep rockin' that look! I get where you're coming from, though on the body image... These days I do like wearing a swim suit. I wear a bikini every year but I am extremely self conscious - now not so much about my size, but about all the loose skin I have. I keep telling myself it just shows the journey I've had to take to get to this point and I shouldn't be ashamed of it, but some days those words sink in more than others.

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  17. I admire you for sharing this. Talking about our body issues can definitely be tough. I guess we each have our own issues because we can be our own worst critic, and it is a process and journey to be comfortable with our bodies. So awesome that you've reached the point that you're comfortable with yourself and are wearing a bikini. You look awesome in it! I was never comfortable wearing a bikini until just 3 years ago. Funny, my big issue is shorts (I'm actually working on a post about this). This summer is the first summer as an adult that I've worn shorts!

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  18. Thanks Jenn! The shorts thing is always a weird thing for me to understand. As a life long girl with chicken legs I never understood the struggle for those who have the issues with shorts. I look forward to reading it!

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  19. That's right Nichole! It's a badge of courage to let it all out. You should be proud of it!

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  20. You know I think you look great, but I understand the struggles with being comfortable in your body. I have days where I think I look great, and days where not so much. I can definitely say, the confidence grows as you age. And you look amazing in the Marty!

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  21. Thank you friend! I think the caring less what people think happens as we age. It's awesome lol!

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  22. love this. i do wear (and have worn) bathing suits for awhile. the older i get (i'm 32) the less i care about what others think and the more comfortable i am in my own skin. in my mind, it's the best thing about aging. xx

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